Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Singers, rappers, wannabes, gonnabes, dreamers and groupies like to adorn themselves with things that glitter.
When I was in elementary school, almost ALL arts and crafts projects during Christmas time consisted of cutting little figures out with those dumb safety (can't cut for shit) scissors, elmers glue, crayons...and the piece de resistance: GLITTER...
Even if you couldn't color in the lines, if you couldn't cut straight, and the globs of glue caused the ink lines to bleed everywhere...if you threw some glitter on that joint, the teacher would hang it up in the classroom...and from a distant glance...Your work looked like everyone elses in the class.
THIS...is the same today in the entertainment industry.
Talent has an ugly step sister...her name is...well...TALENT.
Talent COULD be a DOPE singer with amazing pipes...great vocal control...perfect pitch and great stage presence...but TALENT could ALSO be the people behind the singer; setting up gigs, making calls, setting up meetings...but the Jekyll-esque side of the Ugly sister...are the vocal doctor-ers (producers) who can make a tone def blonde bombshell sound like she's been coached all her life...Throw some gel in her hair, with a smoky eye, a lil' lipstick, some leggings...and a little body glitter...not to mention a little autotune in her mic...and she's been doin' this since way back when...she shines...and fans are attracted to that shine.
My friend Troy and I laugh and talk about how long gone are the days where you could walk into the office of a big time record label exec and perform and sing your HEART OUT and get "signed". These days, if you have an amazing web presence and following, you're more likely to make a name for yourself than Lil' Ty'Shawn, who may not have a website, but he can sing you under a table...you both have TALENT, just in different areas.
People are infatuated with the shine...but does anyone ever stop and think about where the glitter came from? What made the glitter? What process did glitter have to go through to become glitter? Who decided that glitter was glitter?
Most glitter & glitter products are used briefly. After glitter is used, it is showered off, entering waste water systems, or swept up for disposal in landfill. Glitter is not recovered or recycled in any way.--- DAS DEEP!
I guess I figure...like this...If we focused more on what's making the glitter, or more on how to make our own shiny, tried and true products...we could figure out a way to make a talented generation that will not end up in a disposal or a landfill.
SHINE ON...but do it for real.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Everyone's got their WWJD bracelets on for this one.
Everyone's got their saved, sanctified and filled with...What?
I don't like to give my opinions on current events in the media and rarely will you ever read a blog from me defending or speaking against any action of a celebrity because it is almost always a waste of time, but after a recent controversy involving a minister and members of his congregation have come to public attention, it's become a feeding frenzy for "BELIEVERS" and "NON BELIEVERS".
Everyone has their opinion on what is right and what is wrong. Most people have spoken as if they were this minister's right hand man. It's as if they were in the room when these alleged events took place.
ALL CONFUSION AND FOOLISHNESS ASIDE...There's been a blatant attack on a man's integrity and character. If you look closely, this is not a battle between a minister and 4 young men...This minister's guilt or innocence is not the issue here...at least it's not the biggest issue. Christian people, can you see it for what it really is this time? Is his face not visible to you, are his horns not visible to you? I'm not talking about the minister, I'm talking about the evil that has clouded the minds of so many people.
It's like the enemy sent a time bomb wrapped and neatly packaged with his name on it and placed it in this center of controversy. All of a sudden, everyone is an expert in noting sexual misconduct and everyone is stating how they "knew something was going on". WAKE UP people!
Can you not see who developed this attack? One woman, a youtuber, made a video bashing this man and his members, and although I am not a member of his congregation, the video was like some type of poison. It hurt to watch. People are seeing the actions of Christians and they're blaming the dysfunction for their own transgressions. They're blaming this incident for the reason that they don't attend church.
The battle is so much bigger than one Atlanta pastor and some young boys. The battle is so much bigger than families hungry for financial compensation and media attention. This battle is so much bigger than arrogant opinions and uneducated remarks.
I do not condone indecency in the church, nor do I condone indecency with any child...heck I don't condone anyone being indecent...Everyone should live and respect others to the best of their ability. We do not live in a perfect world, but in this case, age and ignorance are not equal. Young men, open your eyes...WAKE UP!
I cannot point blame at anyone. I can say that we should all open our eyes to what is really going on in this situation. Money and media attention may not be the only motivation for the recent outing and air of dirty laundry, but it is indeed motivation for some.
One victims father has stated, "I think he should be banned from his church. I think he should do jail time, and he should pay the victims for the hurt. He should be used as an example."
Now how ridiculous is that? The truth is such a bitter pill to swallow sometimes...He should PAY the victims for their hurt???...because MONEY is going to heal these victims hurt...
I submit to you that these victims were hurt LONG before this situation came to light, and probably even before this minister came into the victims' lives.
If you can't see it for what it is...look a little closer. As the media strokes the enemy's ego, he's smiling and purring at the fact that so many people are sharing their own venomous ideas and further wounding the BODY. The body is being weakened by issues like this one. This is not the end of the enemy's attack. He's just showing how easy it is to attack when we're weak.
PRAY! Pray for the minds of Christians. Pray for the minds of Americans. Pray for healing in this nation where money fuels people's actions. Pray for the families involved. Pray for the people who bear hatred in their hearts and want others to feel their pain. Pray for the greedy people. Pray for me. Pray for confused souls. Pray for yourselves, and I'll be praying for you.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
A room that no one ever comes out of when the door closes.
It's a room that I think everyone has seen or heard about.
Everyone knows someone who has been inside of that room.
Sometimes the door even closes...and that someone never comes out.
Everyone has this room in their house or apartment.
Even the homeless have this room.
I walked down a dark, thin corridor toward a bright, white light shining underneath a door.
The light was like a magnet; drawing me in...pulling me in. I obeyed.
The walls of the corridor were like screens.
They showed me images of my life.
They showed me images of all the mistakes I've made.
They showed me images of all the bad things I've done to others and to myself.
They showed me a way into the room.
Although the walls on either sides of me were showing me...They were also blinders.
They were blinders against reason, courage and rationality.
The blinders led me to the room.
I got closer to the room and the light grew brighter, and the images alongside the wall began to fade.
The light even began to silence the noises from the perpetual soundtrack in my life...and only one message because clear..."Come into the Room"
I raised my hand toward the door knob...and turned the knob and walked into the room. With my hand on the cold
door knob, I looked into this white room...this cylindrical white room with no ceiling...no windows...just infinite heights.
I kept my hand on the door knob...
I kept...my hand....ON...the door knob, holding the door in place, because I didn't want to close the door of this room.
I felt a strong urge to let go of the knob and close the door...
I could just let go of the knob and close the door...
I should just let go of the knob and close the door...
Who cares....let go of the knob and close the door...
Close the door...
I looked at my hand on the door knob...
I looked at the veins in my hands...
I imagined the blood that ran through my veins...to a beating heart...
I held onto the door knob...
I looked at the white walls and....even now at 4:58 am,
I'm thankful for my hand on the door knob.
I studied the structure of the room and all it's peaceful elements...
With my hand on the door knob, I walked out of the room and closed the door...facing the dark corridor walls that projected
my sins so prominently and vividly...I walked out of the corridor with no threats or promises...but I did return and I began painting the walls to create a peaceful vibe like that of the room.
I could not go in and close the door...
I went into the room, but I did not stay...
And I most certainly did NOT close the door from the inside...
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Tho colors slip from sight,
And all the world grows pale and dim,
with darkness on its hide.
With fervored strength I touch my heart,
'Tis there, your mem'ry doth stay,
When with my soul the angels come,
And carry me away.
Your smile plays, yet another scene,
From life's now ending score,
And time's most precious moments, held,
I long for just one more.
Beneath the earth, I plant my love,
to grow and bear your seeds,
When resting under its many branches,
Look up, remember me."
Saturday, June 12, 2010
I've been up and down. I declare, God should've told me that my life would be a roller coaster, because I would've bought season passes for the whole family.
At 25 years old, I've yet to tap into my full potential. It's not that I don't know what to do right now. It's just not time yet.
I've run into several situations that I've handled poorly and that was an indication to me that I was not ready for certain things to start happening in my life, and because of God's grace, I only see a glimpse right now of the things that are to come. This grace serves as a warning, or a preview and prepares me for the next time it comes around. God is faithful, so it WILL come around again.
I've disappointed and been disappointed by almost everyone in my life thus far, except for one person. **Details at a later date
With that disappointment comes the snakehead of ugly truths, awkward situations, avoidance of friends and loved ones, and just plain discourse.
I love the fact that people see "Jirod Greene" as this and that, but it's obvious that I see myself in a different light than they see me, and sometimes it's shocking to them.
I don't understand that though: How someone can see you differently than you see yourself, and they think that their view is "BETTER" or more progressive.
When people can't see you moving, or think that you're not moving fast enough, or even, if people see you moving in a different direction, sometimes they assume that you don't have your best interests at heart. If you have a level head, who knows YOU the way YOU do?
I'm at a crossroads, which someday I hope makes for good songwriting material.
Almost a year ago, I allowed my situation to hold me hostage in a stale position. I was stagnant/non-moving because of fear. I was afraid that opportunities would no longer be available to me if I followed my first mind. (which is usually your right mind) I let someone (A PERSON?) tell me that if I took a chance and followed my heart, everything that was being built, would be lost, and I stayed and listened to that person, even though everything that was built was actually lost, or rather, rearranged to the point of rebuilding again and my opportunity went down the drain. I used to resent that person, but now I know that the only person I can be mad at, is myself. I'm the master of my fate, right?
Advise... Don't ever let anyone tell you what's best for you if you know full well that you have your best interests at heart.
Have you ever had someone tell you things and treat you like you don't know what's going on, and in all honesty, you've been doing what you're doing way longer? Sometimes you have to take a piece of humble pie, and then other times, you have to take that pie and shove it back in their faces... (NON VIOLENCE)
Sometimes it's okay to know that you're the prophyte in certain situations, but it's also important to know that you can learn from anyone.
If I told you the truth about my mentality, you'd think I was being arrogant... For anyone who already thinks I'm arrogant... The truth is this...
I believe that there are few people in the world who are just like me. I like to call them "Dreamers". We are not the exception to rules, I feel like we are additions to them.
I believe that dreamers live chaotic lives, bumping into other dreamers, but chaos does not mean our lives are unorganized.
Also, there are a league of individuals who call themselves dreamers, but they're more like the little fish (I forgot the names) that stick to the undersides of sharks... They help, and they're a part of a bigger picture, but they live off of small victories. Be careful of these fish.
SHARKS and POLAR BEARS...
Just because the Shark does not attack when you think it should...you think you're dangling a tasty piece of tuna carcass and the shark should bite...but just because the shark doesn't bite whenever you think it should... That doesn't make the shark any less dangerous. Nor does it mean that the shark doesn't know what it's doing.
I think I'm a lot like a polar bear too... It's said that in their natural habitat...If you see a polar bear off in the distance... It's been hunting you for some time...and it's only a matter of time before it...well...
You know, honestly, there are a few people who I wish would stumble upon my blog and read my entries because clearly a lot of my posts are the direct result of a conversation I've had with them, or something they've said or done to me.
Then...there are my lovelies who think I'm full of hot air, fancy words, good intentions, and POOP!
To them I say... EAT all those things.
It is not my job to prove to you that I'm moving or that I'm coming. Just fall in line, and have faith or you're just another fish, (see the shark/fish reference), I see you...and polar bears like fish.
The sun will come up...and it will burn the eyes of everyone who looks directly into it.
Monday, May 31, 2010
This is where I begin. This is where it all counts from here. I did not have to fight during those first 10 months of my existence. I was protected. I was incased. I learned rapidly though. Warmth.
Age. Adolescence. Feeling. Truth. Lies.
As colors relate to feelings in my head, I began to understand my emotions.
Love....a solitary feeling.
It stands alone. Miles in front of anything I've ever experienced.
Home. Comfort and Chaos. A beautiful place. A place of peace. I ran from it...quickly.
LOVE...Again. But this time, with another.
Two souls love and understand each other. My soul loved, but my intellect stretched its arms and reached for other things... Where love was a miracle, my intellect searched for opportunity...chance.
I was carefully crafted by two hands that placed these gifts inside of me. Why in hell would I trade my opportunities for a mediocre life, a boring wife & a white picket fence?
"I dream in violet and cerulean...I speak orca...I've mastered the art of mental kung fu. I take bitter memories and sing them like chocolate decadence. I preach to souls, though I'm not ordained, and before I die, you'll know my name."
Just before THE FALL, I saw purple balloons, a little girl with tangerine ribbons in her hair, a vendor selling snowcones, my mother's deep mahogany eyes, my father's leathered face and warm smile...two periwinkle marbles, a silver baseball bat...my memories right before death.
as I lay in a pool of my own blood and stare at my masterpiece painted on the ceiling, I marvel at my own work. I may not live to hear people's praises, but I am the first to behold the wonders of God's love manifest through my hands in intricate detail and design. The Fall.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The sad thing is that sometimes, it is not enough for me to say to myself, "God can fix it." or "Let God handle it." I cannot lie. Sometimes I'm a bit more interested in what Jirod can do, or what Jirod wants to do; thus, taking God out of the equation. It's a very dangerous thing; taking God out of the equation because at that moment, I'm saying, "Lord, I know You're Sovereign, and You're the King of kings, and the Lord of Lords, and the Prince of Peace...but here is what I wanna do." That's dangerous.
So, let's say...in my sinful nature, I handle a particular issue... I have a friend who kinda ran off at the mouth and MAY have said some very hurtful things. How do I know this? Well, I don't. It's just hearsay. But my "get you back" attitude WISHES he said something. I WISH he said it...I HOPE he said it... LOL (not funny) but that's how my mind works... I build up an attack (not physically) so great (in my eyes) and I tell myself, "Bwah, I'ma let ol' dude or ol' girl (or ol' whatever is pissing me off), I'ma let em HAVE it...
That's not the right way to be. I think electronics has made us all weak to a certain extent. From texts to avoid the issue (I'm guilty of it), to subliminal tweets on TWITTER, to threatening facebook statuses that may or MAY NOT be about you, but you wanna fight em anyway. (SMH)
I woke up this morning, and the first thought that came to mind, as well as the first words that came outta my lips were, "Thank You, Jesus" and as SOON as I said that, I began to think about the night before and how I'm gonna GET ol dude, and really let him have it.
GROW UP JIROD!
I blog because it's a choice...Sure I could take all of these things to God. I do. I know that someone may read my blog and relate. Someone may not know they can go to God for help. Well U can!
Anyway... As always, the issue may be resolved with a few deep conversations, a good meal, and an episode or two of Martin.
But when it returns...What then?
Monday, April 26, 2010
Walking down the stairs, I felt the temperature change in the house. No one was downstairs, and the keyboards were not on. I turned my head to my left to look at the front door. Daylight snuck in through the cracks in the door and through the blinds.
I walked to the front door, turned the little gold doorknob and I opened the door. I had a guest; a visitor who was a stranger, but I knew exactly who he was from the minute I saw his face. He stood silently in the middle of the street in front of our house.
He smiled when he saw my face and I nodded at him with a smile, signaling him to come in from the street. He walked in and I closed the door behind him.
We sat in the living room and talked. There wasn't much I could tell him that he didn't already know about me. So, instead I talked about what I wanted to do that morning. I'd convinced myself to stay in from work and talk to my new friend.
He told me that I was witty, and that I had a very likable personality. I appreciated his compliments, but I was unsure as to why he was here at my house. He continued to pay me compliments on my personal successes.
Being the naturally nervous person that I can be sometimes, I asked him why he'd come by that day. He told me that he just wanted to look at me. I asked him if he'd seen me before. He told me that he'd never seen me before, but that I'd come up in several different conversations; none of which, he cared to go into great detail about.
All we had in the refrigerator was bottled water to drink. I offered him a bottled water. He drank it and said thank you. Then he got up to leave.
I asked him if he'd be back. He laughed at me because obviously I'd asked a silly question. He chuckled and grinned and said he would be back. He wasn't sure he'd see me in the same place again, but assured me that we would definitely see each other again.
I walked him to the door, and after exchanging pleasantries, he nodded his head and walked back down the street. I waited until he got a ways down the road before I parted my lips to say goodbye to him.
Goodbye Death... I'll see you later.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
when I stepped foot on campus and saw what the Alphas were doing on campus...being more visible than any other FRATERNITY on campus...and they still are...
I don't know the loc extension process, so I wouldn't really know how to recommend it.
I would've been more vocal early on in my college career, and asked for help instead of figuring things out the hard way. :)
My most embarrassing moment was when I fell asleep at a leadership convention, during which ppl were describing the qualities of a good leader. Someone mentioned that Good leaders have "Good listening skills", after being asleep, I stood up to represent for my school and I shouted loud and proud, "A good leader has good listening skills"....this is after someone had already named that quality...kinda...ironic eh? lol
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
On To The Next One...
In general, "good people" don't like to cause confusion. On the whole, "good people" don't like to stir up emotions by bringing up controversial topics in discussion. Quite frankly, "good people" believe in some type of "harmonic balance" that exists, birthed from the Cosmos. When I hear the word "Cosmos", I think of a really style-savvy man, with a blazer, a hot-pink Express shirt, black rimmed glasses, penny loafers, and a drink in his hand... (TANGENT)
What do I know...
What do I believe? Ha, what I know and what I believe...If I told the absolute truth on both to groups of people who each have several passions for the many facets of human life, or death...I'd be stoned, or in the least, unfriended on facebook and unfollowed on twitter.
I believe that there is good, and there is evil. I believe that there is darkness and there is light. I believe JOY and PAIN exists beyond that very catchy song from the late 80's early 90's. I don't really believe that many people are ignorant...they're just lazy.
If laziness is next to ignorance, then sure...they're synonymous.
I believe in one of the most famous books, IF not the map or guidebook to living the proper life, which,these days is only made evident through a divine revelation after one feels he or she is being punished for an act of disobedience...usually. I believe in that book. Do I believe it was written by men...YES. I also believe that it was inspired by God. Do I believe there are many fallacies as this GREAT BOOK has been rewritten and translated numerous times? Fallacies? NO. Differences from translation to translation. SURE.
Have you ever done something completely and totally out of "character"? Have you ever felt the urge to do something in which you felt you had no real control over? Like, your hands or feet just had their own agenda?
Isn't it amazing how we can say that God is real, all-powerful, and all-knowing, and then we turn around and speak on all the things that could not POSSIBLY be true. Intelligent Intellectuals are a group of people who know the truth, but seek a truth that is beyond the "Ordinary Curve" of other believers.
I had a discussion with a man over the use of the word homosexual in the Bible. He explained to me that because the Bible had been re-translated several times over time, He, being a homosexual and Christian, could not except the fact that in black and white, a scripture in the Bible mentioning homosexuals "not inheriting the kingdom of Heaven" meant what it said. Of course, to be taken into account are the context clues, the different translations, and the origin of the word in several other languages used in the days when that book of the Bible was created. However, it was quite interesting that a verse like, "Honor Thy Mother and Thy Father..." is so crystal clear to him.
I think we copy and paste parts of the Bible that fit our lifestyles so that we can justify our "wrongs" or "transgressions".
(These are just observations)
POWER: Everyone wants it to some degree. The fact that a BEING...ONE WHO has no beginning and no ending. ONE whose power is immeasurable... ONE who knew us before we were, and knows everything we do, when we do things, with whom we do things, and what will result of our doing things. Nobody wants to believe that they're not in control. It's scary to lean on an absolute POWER, especially when you cannot physically SEE God.
I sat among a group of people at a restaurant the other day. The four of us; young, black, the eclectic type...you know...the natural haired, earthtones, and big turquoise stones wearing type... We began discussing some very intense conspiracy theories. My theory is this... Yes, I believe there are evils in the world, but I also believe that some things, some phenomenons are SO incredibly, unbelievably shocking, and unexplainable, that there has to be SOMETHING or SOMEONE to place direct blame on. I say to people; on the issue of epidemics sweeping our nation, natural disasters, the recession: Do your level best to support your community. Encourage and Enlist, and Educate. Encourage young men and women to practice safe sex. Enlist in efforts to stop world hunger; volunteer to help out in your community. Educate others in areas where you know you can bring about change in the minds of people around you. The trick is, you have to know what you're talking about before you go and educate people.
If you love someone...Please, please tell them. If your love for someone is overshadowed by any pain that you've caused them, pray for them, and pray for their healing. Love is definitely something we all need every once in a while.
Friday, March 12, 2010
I don't know what I'd do without my bird...my falcon.
Quiet, yet responsive.
There was a show in Houston, and The Legion, LLC. was definitely in the building, even if no one else was! LOL
I don't know man. I'm just so blessed to have met so many positive people.
The club, well, we won't get into that. I saw so many faces. (Some familiar)
You know how it's awkward when you're in a place with associates of a person with whom you no longer communicate? Well, that was the night for me. It hurt a little, because a few of these people who treated me like they didn't really know me were people who I really have a lot of respect for, and really admire. We did the "hi, and smile", but I mean, atleast we were cordial, right?
Besides the fact that I was staring at the door wondering if "she" would walk in, hoping that "she" would walk in..."she" did not walk in that night.
Show goes on...Besides the duo from Austin, TX... The rest of the entertainment was typical... You know how it is... A bunch of dudes decide that they can rap, and they rap about the hustle and they get up on stage and perform for themselves...dappin each other up and what not...while the audience is standing their with their "WTF" faces on, lookin like, "Y'all need to engage us...please"
So after endless hours of what seemed like a "Big Weiner Competition" because every rapper was talking about how much they "plex" and what not...finally it's my turn...
The crowd was kinda sparse after being beaten with the repetitive loud beats, muffled voices (because of poor usage of microphones) and the baggy pants...
SIDENOTE: Let's get into performance...some rappers hold the microphones a certain way, and it muffles their sound because they're blocking the mic from getting a clear sound...That sounds ok sometimes, but if we don't know you and we don't know your song...We need to hear it...You are not famous yet.
So anyway...I performed a 3 song set...I got a really good response from people in the audience. Two of my favorite supporters and dear friends, Charlie and Amy were there and showed their love. That made me feel really good. I performed my song "Still In Love", and as much as I'd like to send a personal message to "her", and although having her friends their, whom I'd hoped would send a personal message to "her", I knew they were too mature to do that...
Anyway, I ripped it...and C. Skillz did as well. The two Aggies/Legion Boys killed the show. The other artists were feeling themselves too much to sit around and respect our set and hear us, except the duo from Austin. They were the truth.
After the AGGIE love from our classmates and friends and whatnot, the 3rd, Da Mastamind and I went to iHop. Our waitress just made me realize how much I love Houston.
ANOTHER SIDENOTE: I am NOT from Houston, TX, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE that city. Living 45 minutes away from Houston does not make me a Houstonian, but I can claim whatever city I want...The waitress was so southern and hilarious...and kinda cute too. She just reminded me of home.
Sitting up talking to 3rd and Mastamind and laughing ourselves to sleep, man, I pray more nights are like that. My father and brother picked me up in N. Houston and I hadn't seen them since Christmas. I was so happy to see them.
Then we got home and I see this beautiful brown eyed princess at my parents door. My sister. THE most beautiful girl in the world greeted me with a "Hey BUBBA" and a hug...and then the other most beautiful big brown eyed thing in the world, my pissy dog, OSCAR greeted me by humping my leg and peeing on himself in excitement. I love that silly lil dog, even though I'd cussed him out about 4 times since I've been home...because he's so hard headed.
The queen walks in and I'm in love. My mother...such a beautiful woman...I miss her. I hadn't seen her since CHRISTMAS, are you kidding me? We hugged. I don't think I've been this happy in months.
My mother, my sister, my brother and I went out to eat at our favorite restaurant, Shanghai! We laughed and dined and reminisced about old times, and things that my brother and my mother remembered about me that I didn't remember just made me realize how much I need them to remember things about me, because as good of a memory as I think I have sometimes, it's the people who see you for more than you see yourself...it's them that see the things you tend to forget, or the things about you that you never notice... Even my kid sister remembered things that I did not remember.
I'll be heading back to Austin soon. I usually look forward to coming home, as it recharges me...so, I'll hold on to this small portion of nourishment, and carry it with me until I can come back home.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
And you can't dig it, 'cause yo shovel too short.
I suppose I'll let you on this train,
You hooked, I'm like life support.
Amazingly, I'm still amazing ME,
In awe of all the things that I've yet to be...
Amazing...We've defined amazing to be, the things we see on TV...
Round butts, and perfect figures, slick talkers and quick jiggers,
Who believe in P.C. by day, but at night call their own people, "niggers".
And we figure these figures in the spotlight know what it's all about, right?
So, I ride on a train...It's perfect, it's exquisite, and everybody wanna ride in it...On it, I think they want it...
The experience... My ride rides nice, even on thin ice,
and I'm too cool to fall below, and too cold to get heated so...
SO, amazing, me, I pump up my own head because the only one to make me think other wise, is none other than me.
My train rides nice, now fly train...Fly above the aboves and beyonds into a time eons away from a life where the peons are told when and how to play.
My train's got big purple wings, elegant things when they spread, I hear gasps from nay-sayers and haters abound, but they just mad cause their trains stay on the ground.
Look at me now...
A million miles high, but you can still see me, secretly my biggest critics really wanna be me...
Beam me up like Spock, stars don't walk they trek.
I want to erase your mind and replace your thoughts with something you'll never forget or regret.
It's progress, as my train sets the standard for those to come.
I implore you to dance to the beat of your own drum,
Or suffer from doldrums, dull huh?
I felt like Greene was a good color on me, so Green birthed some breach baby beats,
Delivered differently, but always, ALWAYS landing on our feet.
A legion of talent in me, a beacon, a challenge, and ME...a light, pure balance and HE,
A MIC, true talent, now breathe...
Exhale the negative, inhale the haters,
now upchuck their bones, and save them for later.
Cause you gone need a skull to weigh down the papers you stack,
When you live in the moment, and never look back.
All over the place, my mind goes all over the place, Hell, I'm all over the place.
I place myself in a category of Otherlings, something from another being,
One of Jack's lost magic beans.
Impressively, and aggressive, he, is nothing like the gyrating, generations, generating hits, auto-tune masturbating. Jacking the flavor off real musicians, and coming quick.
Careers end, post drip, limp, now call it quits.
Misfits, writers, biters, bums, fighters, nuns, this rhyme is for the inner tiger in you. You might mess up, fess up, but don't take your missteps in vain.
Grab your ticket, hop aboard...It's time to load up the train.
Jirod Greene (Copyright 2010)
Buried in a freshly dug grave, my guilt and self pity lay luke warm; having just died. I used to carry them both around like growths on my back because it's the only way I knew to care for them and carry on.
Guilt and self pity invited clearance for a sneak attack from those I cared about the most. I knew of my own strengths and unwavering beliefs, but those strengths were perceived as weaknesses, or petty nuances.
I will not treat myself like an alien and say "People just don't understand me..." because I believe that is a cop out to co-existing and serves as an excuse for abandoning others.
You're not eclectic just because people don't "understand" you...
I said in a previous post, "Don't hang around people who haven't been anywhere"...and I mean that. Some people bask in the light of their e-glories, and others believe that if they can get a few people to feel the way they do, then their case in stronger, and better, and on the whole, the right way to feel.
Make sure you're not dining with people who are hungry for fat, juicy drama. They look to you like hungry hogs waiting to be slopped. Starve them! Corrupt communication is like tons of calories, you may not look heavy from consumption right away, but you can darn sure feel it.
People who perform an action, regret it, and then perform it several other times, are considered slightly insane. I'm insane, but I'm aware of my insanity, and I've thrown a wrench in the gears of many of my moving mental monsters...Some are harder to halt in production than others.
Some individuals feed their monsters, masking the ugly, scaly, outer appearance, fooling others and eventually themselves.
We're human. We're imperfect. We are bound to screw up...It's just the way we are in this life. However, being aware of your screw ups and wanting to amend your ways can help you maintain a better balance of good and evil in your personal life.
If you find yourself calling correcting others when connecting you with another person, then you interrupt them by saying, "No no, he/she is not a friend, he/she is an associate..." You, my good friend, are, simply put, LAME. People only say that to exercise their superiority over other individuals. True, there are people who are strictly associates, but one motto I swear that I live by:
"SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID"
People fail to understand etiquette in conversation...(And that's a whole 'nother blog)
If you're growing and maturing, don't commune with others are still infants in communication.
If two men are sitting at a table together over food; and one is upset with the other, I don't believe they should eat in silence.
I have a gender bias. Sure, we all get mad at each other...but I feel like, with men, especially in America, with our history of great compromises, signed treaties, allied forces, etc., men have learned to put their differences behind for the greater good, to support and promote the bigger picture, but if you're dining with someone who'd mentally rather color the kids sheet at Red Lobster, while you're studying a Van Gogh painting, pick up the tab, tip your hat, AND your waiter, and keep it moving on out the door...
Anyway...a rant, if you will.
Make sure that you consider yourself when you're considering others. It's not selfish to ask yourself, "What should I be doing right now to fix this situation?", or "Am I in the right place right now?"
Make sure YOU'RE covered. No one else will love you like you can love yourself.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
My body, these past 3 or 4 days, has not been in the best physical condition.
I'm surrounded by mounds of tissue paper, a bottle of cough medicine, and dozens of coughdrops, as well as a half/gallon of orange juice, two blankets, my phone, my laptop, and my ipod touch. All these things are within an arms reach, because I don't want to move from this spot, or at least I didn't want to move from this spot.
After my thirteenth episode of Kyle XY, I decided to take Dietrich's advice and walk outside and feel the day. It's been quite cold here in Austin, but apparently, it's a beautiful day out today. So, I went outside to see for myself...
He was right. Dietrich was absolutely right. Indeed it is a beautiful day outside.
I stretched my arms, and looked up at the blue sky, kissed by wisps of white clouds...and I felt God. He made me feel blessed, and I cried tears of relief and happiness.
Friday, February 5, 2010
I have many insecurities. I have anger issues. I have been jealous of friends. All of that, I've asked The Lord to take away. He's working on me. (LOL) Indeed, He is working on me.
There are many things in which I have to sit back and learn. There are a lot of things that I need to shut up about because quite frankly, I'm not a professional in that department on that specific topic or idea. I am not one who is well read or well studied on every subject.
There are some things I do know. One thing that I've been doing, I'm guilty of not giving myself enough credit. There are things I do know. I've confused pure knowledge with arrogance just by my situation. I've allowed others to convince me that what they perceive to be the correct way to handle issues is the only way. Friends and family.
My design was not a mistake. God did not create me to run over people, nor did He create me to submit to the will of others. This post is a self realization. If you're good at what you do, it's not a coincidence.
Don't let anyone make you think that your ideas are not good enough, and the moment you start feeling like you're being pushed against a wall, fight your way out. I do not promote violence, but a fight is something completely different. I think a fight comes about as a necessity, sometimes. You fight for what you believe. You fight to stay alive. You fight to be heard...when others don't believe in you, when you're dying, when others cannot hear you.
You can only keep your tail between your legs for so long before you say, I'm not doing this any more. Once people realize that they have you where they want you, they'll do what they please, and pacify the situation that causes you to stir. Pacification is temporary. I say, don't suck on it at all. Don't be shut up or shut out.
Even if you stand alone, stand for what you believe. Be strong.
I'm an otherling created by God...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I woke up this morning and I had you on my mind, so I prayed. I woke up and got a drink of water and I sat down in front of the television and watched as a news station talked about an aftershock, and I prayed.
This letter, Haiti, is to you and all of the brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers that you've lost. This letter is for those dying right now in the streets, and under buildings. This letter is for those still holding on right now, helping others, searching for loved ones, coping with the death of loved ones.
I don't have much, Haiti, but what I do have, I'll do my best to send my part. It's still not enough, I know...I know...
In the midst of the tragedy, there is resilience still... When I look into the eyes of your youth, through pictures, I can see something. Something is very clear when I look into their eyes. The one word that I see when I look into their eyes, is the word, "WATCH". Their eyes are saying "WATCH".
"Watch us rebuild this place. Watch us develop into successful men and women for Haiti. Watch us."
Some children are laughing and smiling because they don't exactly know what's going on, but their attitudes are the foundation for a fresh start.
Your inhabitants may go away for a time, Haiti. I believe in my heart that they will come back and help you.
With every great natural disaster, there comes the negativity, the comments that are spurred by emotion can cause more harm sometimes than help. People have said and are saying negative and ignorant things, Haiti. People, out of fear, hurt, and desperation, may sometimes act ignorantly, but my focus is on the heart of the survivors. We're waters apart...but we can look up and see the same sky. I'm throwing a prayer up there...
I watch you on TV. I MUTE the volume, and I just look at you...I look at your beautiful faces. I look at the parents who have decided to deal with their loss, I look at the grandparents who have gained a little more strength to press on for their childrens' sake. I look at the children. I look into those big beautiful eyes, and I see that word again... "WATCH"
I can't do much Haiti...I can raise awareness. I feel so helpless...My God. Things of this nature, and of this magnitude, remind me of just how small I am.
Lift up little survivors like "Winnie" who was rescued from a collapsed building. She's one of your survivors... I'm watching her. I pray that along with the aid that is received, there are people there praying and interceding, and reassuring some, and reminding others that God is in control.
God is in control.
I do not know you personally, Haiti, but in my heart you are my brother, my sister... and I love you. Please hold on. I pray that help; food, water, shelter, medicines...I pray all that comes, and hold on to faith. You've lost so much, I know.
For the "Winnie's"...hold on. Look into your loved ones' eyes for hope, and when it seems all hope is lost, plant a seed into the minds of those around you, pray, and say to them, "WATCH".
I don't believe in coincidence. No sir. I believe that everything from the shows I watch, down to the pasta that I eat, silly, I know, but I believe that everything is intricately laced and weaved together and has a purpose.
So, I'm sitting here and I'm watching The United States of Tara and I think I relate to Toni Collete's character. Toni plays Tara who has three alter egos: Buck, Alice, and the infamous "T".
These alters interfere with Tara's life and causes the lives of those around her to change to accomodate her. I feel like her. (Oh my gosh Charmaine....Tara's sister...just showed her boobs)
Anyway. I feel like my mood swings hit everyone around me. Maybe I'll embrace my alter egos. I need to meet them first. I hope one of them is really hood.
Anyway. It's late and my thoughts are escaping me.
- When every song you sing is out of tune...sing louder.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I just want this music thing....SO BADLY...You know, it's a taste that I feel I long for more than others sometimes...
I gotta say I respect this one young cat... Maybe in a few years...no, in a few years, he'll be famous...and I'm gonna help him. Chad Green... Da Mastamind. That man has a way of creating things that make my lyrics just flow over.
It's true what they say, actions speak louder than words. I need to save my ducats and get pro-tools and a better computer because I have all these songs...good songs too mane...
I think people overlook me because they want proof that I'm legit. Chad, help me get this, please. We just gotta push a little harder.
My 25th birthday was a warning. LOL. Kid, you grown now. Get off the couch, stop watching Martin...write...write...write boy!
I'ma fish outta water in most of my circles. I feel the most at home with my dude Mastamind...Dude gets me, and I've only really known him for a while. I wanna make this a Diddy/Biggie situation... I'm not ridin' him, but I do tip my hat to him. When he's in the lab, he creates the most amazing things.
There's so much I wanna put here...I wanna say all there is that needs to be said...
But my wings, though they're not clipped, they're definitely bound right now.
You can't be afraid to be who you are. In my mind, I've wanted to be the clean cut, college-graduate, with the tapered fade haircut who says all the right things to my ex-girlfriend... I still long for that sometimes...Sometimes I sit and wonder if I was an engineer. Maybe life would've been a lot easier.
25, single...cheating on music with laziness sometimes. Laziness is that girl that I've been fooling around with out of habit. Lazy...my sidechick. LOL
Monday, January 4, 2010
You, reader...You may have an idea on what it means to recreate yourself, and how sometimes, it's necessary to make changes in your life, because change can be good. Change is inevitable.
The biggest fault I have is fear. I fear that I may NOT do one thing or another. I have fear that I will not be accepted. I have fear that I will disappoint my family and friends. I have fear that I will not succeed. I have fear that I may never love anyone the way I want to.
The year 2009, for me, has been a year of great trial, triumph, and tragedy. I lost a grandfather, a girlfriend, a...friend...a brother (not bloodrelated)...I lost sight. I lost sight of the important things. Truth be told, there are some things from 2009 that I will never get back again. My grandfather is in Heaven...
Silly arguments and battles over power have been the reason for my loss of others. I will not look back and tell myself, "I wish I would've..." The un-follows on twitter. The un-friending on facebook... I look back at my age and say, like my buddy Troy says, "I'm too old to be losing friends..." and whereas I do believe that, I also believe that if there is anyone in your life who is not propelling you into your destiny, you're destined to...well, it's just my belief that you don't go anywhere with folks who've never been anywhere.
I've sat and cried, and wondered if I could ever be, or if it would ever be, or why we could never be...
But, now, I'm a pallbearer for these issues. I'm killing the fear...the disappointment that I have in myself and the disappointment that others have in me. I'm going to discipline myself, but also forgive myself. I realize that a lot of my fear comes from my failure to forgive myself.
To the issues and grievances of 2009, I say to you, Rest in Peace...
Here's to a new year...a new you... and a new way to look at your life.