Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Letter To Haiti

Hello Haiti,

I woke up this morning and I had you on my mind, so I prayed. I woke up and got a drink of water and I sat down in front of the television and watched as a news station talked about an aftershock, and I prayed.

This letter, Haiti, is to you and all of the brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers that you've lost. This letter is for those dying right now in the streets, and under buildings. This letter is for those still holding on right now, helping others, searching for loved ones, coping with the death of loved ones.

I don't have much, Haiti, but what I do have, I'll do my best to send my part. It's still not enough, I know...I know...

In the midst of the tragedy, there is resilience still... When I look into the eyes of your youth, through pictures, I can see something. Something is very clear when I look into their eyes. The one word that I see when I look into their eyes, is the word, "WATCH". Their eyes are saying "WATCH".

"Watch us rebuild this place. Watch us develop into successful men and women for Haiti. Watch us."

Some children are laughing and smiling because they don't exactly know what's going on, but their attitudes are the foundation for a fresh start.

Your inhabitants may go away for a time, Haiti. I believe in my heart that they will come back and help you.

With every great natural disaster, there comes the negativity, the comments that are spurred by emotion can cause more harm sometimes than help. People have said and are saying negative and ignorant things, Haiti. People, out of fear, hurt, and desperation, may sometimes act ignorantly, but my focus is on the heart of the survivors. We're waters apart...but we can look up and see the same sky. I'm throwing a prayer up there...

I watch you on TV. I MUTE the volume, and I just look at you...I look at your beautiful faces. I look at the parents who have decided to deal with their loss, I look at the grandparents who have gained a little more strength to press on for their childrens' sake. I look at the children. I look into those big beautiful eyes, and I see that word again... "WATCH"

I can't do much Haiti...I can raise awareness. I feel so helpless...My God. Things of this nature, and of this magnitude, remind me of just how small I am.

Lift up little survivors like "Winnie" who was rescued from a collapsed building. She's one of your survivors... I'm watching her. I pray that along with the aid that is received, there are people there praying and interceding, and reassuring some, and reminding others that God is in control.

God is in control.

I do not know you personally, Haiti, but in my heart you are my brother, my sister... and I love you. Please hold on. I pray that help; food, water, shelter, medicines...I pray all that comes, and hold on to faith. You've lost so much, I know.

For the "Winnie's"...hold on. Look into your loved ones' eyes for hope, and when it seems all hope is lost, plant a seed into the minds of those around you, pray, and say to them, "WATCH".

Jirod Greene

Losing Myself

I'm sitting here...In tears. Watching the 6th episode from the first season of The United States of Tara.

I don't believe in coincidence. No sir. I believe that everything from the shows I watch, down to the pasta that I eat, silly, I know, but I believe that everything is intricately laced and weaved together and has a purpose.

So, I'm sitting here and I'm watching The United States of Tara and I think I relate to Toni Collete's character. Toni plays Tara who has three alter egos: Buck, Alice, and the infamous "T".

These alters interfere with Tara's life and causes the lives of those around her to change to accomodate her. I feel like her. (Oh my gosh Charmaine....Tara's sister...just showed her boobs)

Anyway. I feel like my mood swings hit everyone around me. Maybe I'll embrace my alter egos. I need to meet them first. I hope one of them is really hood.

Anyway. It's late and my thoughts are escaping me.


- When every song you sing is out of tune...sing louder.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Like a Candle: Melt Down

I'd written a lot of hurtful stuff before I posted this...but India Arie's "Wings Of Forgiveness" JUST started playing...'s gone...

I just want this music thing....SO BADLY...You know, it's a taste that I feel I long for more than others sometimes...

I gotta say I respect this one young cat... Maybe in a few, in a few years, he'll be famous...and I'm gonna help him. Chad Green... Da Mastamind. That man has a way of creating things that make my lyrics just flow over.

It's true what they say, actions speak louder than words. I need to save my ducats and get pro-tools and a better computer because I have all these songs...good songs too mane...

I think people overlook me because they want proof that I'm legit. Chad, help me get this, please. We just gotta push a little harder.

My 25th birthday was a warning. LOL. Kid, you grown now. Get off the couch, stop watching Martin...write...write...write boy!

I'ma fish outta water in most of my circles. I feel the most at home with my dude Mastamind...Dude gets me, and I've only really known him for a while. I wanna make this a Diddy/Biggie situation... I'm not ridin' him, but I do tip my hat to him. When he's in the lab, he creates the most amazing things.

There's so much I wanna put here...I wanna say all there is that needs to be said...
But my wings, though they're not clipped, they're definitely bound right now.

You can't be afraid to be who you are. In my mind, I've wanted to be the clean cut, college-graduate, with the tapered fade haircut who says all the right things to my ex-girlfriend... I still long for that sometimes...Sometimes I sit and wonder if I was an engineer. Maybe life would've been a lot easier.

25, single...cheating on music with laziness sometimes. Laziness is that girl that I've been fooling around with out of habit. sidechick. LOL



Monday, January 4, 2010

Ending It in '09

I have a very anxious spirit. My Pastor preached about not being anxious one Sunday morning. The Bible, which is the blueprint to eternal life, says "Be anxious in nothing." I get so anxious in certain situations; anxious to see what the end will be, anxious to tell someone off, anxious to hear something before someone else hears it, anxious to have my say before someone else does, anxious to make myself known to the world...

You, reader...You may have an idea on what it means to recreate yourself, and how sometimes, it's necessary to make changes in your life, because change can be good. Change is inevitable.

The biggest fault I have is fear. I fear that I may NOT do one thing or another. I have fear that I will not be accepted. I have fear that I will disappoint my family and friends. I have fear that I will not succeed. I have fear that I may never love anyone the way I want to.

The year 2009, for me, has been a year of great trial, triumph, and tragedy. I lost a grandfather, a girlfriend, a...friend...a brother (not bloodrelated)...I lost sight. I lost sight of the important things. Truth be told, there are some things from 2009 that I will never get back again. My grandfather is in Heaven...

Silly arguments and battles over power have been the reason for my loss of others. I will not look back and tell myself, "I wish I would've..." The un-follows on twitter. The un-friending on facebook... I look back at my age and say, like my buddy Troy says, "I'm too old to be losing friends..." and whereas I do believe that, I also believe that if there is anyone in your life who is not propelling you into your destiny, you're destined to...well, it's just my belief that you don't go anywhere with folks who've never been anywhere.

I've sat and cried, and wondered if I could ever be, or if it would ever be, or why we could never be...

But, now, I'm a pallbearer for these issues. I'm killing the fear...the disappointment that I have in myself and the disappointment that others have in me. I'm going to discipline myself, but also forgive myself. I realize that a lot of my fear comes from my failure to forgive myself.

To the issues and grievances of 2009, I say to you, Rest in Peace...

Here's to a new year...a new you... and a new way to look at your life.