Letter To Haiti

Hello Haiti,

I woke up this morning and I had you on my mind, so I prayed. I woke up and got a drink of water and I sat down in front of the television and watched as a news station talked about an aftershock, and I prayed.

This letter, Haiti, is to you and all of the brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers that you've lost. This letter is for those dying right now in the streets, and under buildings. This letter is for those still holding on right now, helping others, searching for loved ones, coping with the death of loved ones.

I don't have much, Haiti, but what I do have, I'll do my best to send my part. It's still not enough, I know...I know...

In the midst of the tragedy, there is resilience still... When I look into the eyes of your youth, through pictures, I can see something. Something is very clear when I look into their eyes. The one word that I see when I look into their eyes, is the word, "WATCH". Their eyes are saying "WATCH".

"Watch us rebuild this place. Watch us develop into successful men and women for Haiti. Watch us."

Some children are laughing and smiling because they don't exactly know what's going on, but their attitudes are the foundation for a fresh start.

Your inhabitants may go away for a time, Haiti. I believe in my heart that they will come back and help you.

With every great natural disaster, there comes the negativity, the comments that are spurred by emotion can cause more harm sometimes than help. People have said and are saying negative and ignorant things, Haiti. People, out of fear, hurt, and desperation, may sometimes act ignorantly, but my focus is on the heart of the survivors. We're waters apart...but we can look up and see the same sky. I'm throwing a prayer up there...

I watch you on TV. I MUTE the volume, and I just look at you...I look at your beautiful faces. I look at the parents who have decided to deal with their loss, I look at the grandparents who have gained a little more strength to press on for their childrens' sake. I look at the children. I look into those big beautiful eyes, and I see that word again... "WATCH"

I can't do much Haiti...I can raise awareness. I feel so helpless...My God. Things of this nature, and of this magnitude, remind me of just how small I am.

Lift up little survivors like "Winnie" who was rescued from a collapsed building. She's one of your survivors... I'm watching her. I pray that along with the aid that is received, there are people there praying and interceding, and reassuring some, and reminding others that God is in control.

God is in control.

I do not know you personally, Haiti, but in my heart you are my brother, my sister... and I love you. Please hold on. I pray that help; food, water, shelter, medicines...I pray all that comes, and hold on to faith. You've lost so much, I know.

For the "Winnie's"...hold on. Look into your loved ones' eyes for hope, and when it seems all hope is lost, plant a seed into the minds of those around you, pray, and say to them, "WATCH".


Jirod Greene

Losing Myself

I'm sitting here...In tears. Watching the 6th episode from the first season of The United States of Tara.

I don't believe in coincidence. No sir. I believe that everything from the shows I watch, down to the pasta that I eat, silly, I know, but I believe that everything is intricately laced and weaved together and has a purpose.

So, I'm sitting here and I'm watching The United States of Tara and I think I relate to Toni Collete's character. Toni plays Tara who has three alter egos: Buck, Alice, and the infamous "T".

These alters interfere with Tara's life and causes the lives of those around her to change to accomodate her. I feel like her. (Oh my gosh Charmaine....Tara's sister...just showed her boobs)

Anyway. I feel like my mood swings hit everyone around me. Maybe I'll embrace my alter egos. I need to meet them first. I hope one of them is really hood.

Anyway. It's late and my thoughts are escaping me.


Love,
JG


- When every song you sing is out of tune...sing louder.

Like a Candle: Melt Down

I'd written a lot of hurtful stuff before I posted this...but India Arie's "Wings Of Forgiveness" JUST started playing... So...it's gone...

I just want this music thing....SO BADLY...You know, it's a taste that I feel I long for more than others sometimes...

I gotta say I respect this one young cat... Maybe in a few years...no, in a few years, he'll be famous...and I'm gonna help him. Chad Green... Da Mastamind. That man has a way of creating things that make my lyrics just flow over.

It's true what they say, actions speak louder than words. I need to save my ducats and get pro-tools and a better computer because I have all these songs...good songs too mane...

I think people overlook me because they want proof that I'm legit. Chad, help me get this, please. We just gotta push a little harder.

My 25th birthday was a warning. LOL. Kid, you grown now. Get off the couch, stop watching Martin...write...write...write boy!

I'ma fish outta water in most of my circles. I feel the most at home with my dude Mastamind...Dude gets me, and I've only really known him for a while. I wanna make this a Diddy/Biggie situation... I'm not ridin' him, but I do tip my hat to him. When he's in the lab, he creates the most amazing things.

There's so much I wanna put here...I wanna say all there is that needs to be said...
But my wings, though they're not clipped, they're definitely bound right now.

You can't be afraid to be who you are. In my mind, I've wanted to be the clean cut, college-graduate, with the tapered fade haircut who says all the right things to my ex-girlfriend... I still long for that sometimes...Sometimes I sit and wonder if I was an engineer. Maybe life would've been a lot easier.

25, single...cheating on music with laziness sometimes. Laziness is that girl that I've been fooling around with out of habit. Lazy...my sidechick. LOL

GetUPboy.


kingstrut

Ending It in '09

I have a very anxious spirit. My Pastor preached about not being anxious one Sunday morning. The Bible, which is the blueprint to eternal life, says "Be anxious in nothing." I get so anxious in certain situations; anxious to see what the end will be, anxious to tell someone off, anxious to hear something before someone else hears it, anxious to have my say before someone else does, anxious to make myself known to the world...

You, reader...You may have an idea on what it means to recreate yourself, and how sometimes, it's necessary to make changes in your life, because change can be good. Change is inevitable.

The biggest fault I have is fear. I fear that I may NOT do one thing or another. I have fear that I will not be accepted. I have fear that I will disappoint my family and friends. I have fear that I will not succeed. I have fear that I may never love anyone the way I want to.

The year 2009, for me, has been a year of great trial, triumph, and tragedy. I lost a grandfather, a girlfriend, a...friend...a brother (not bloodrelated)...I lost sight. I lost sight of the important things. Truth be told, there are some things from 2009 that I will never get back again. My grandfather is in Heaven...

Silly arguments and battles over power have been the reason for my loss of others. I will not look back and tell myself, "I wish I would've..." The un-follows on twitter. The un-friending on facebook... I look back at my age and say, like my buddy Troy says, "I'm too old to be losing friends..." and whereas I do believe that, I also believe that if there is anyone in your life who is not propelling you into your destiny, you're destined to...well, it's just my belief that you don't go anywhere with folks who've never been anywhere.

I've sat and cried, and wondered if I could ever be, or if it would ever be, or why we could never be...

But, now, I'm a pallbearer for these issues. I'm killing the fear...the disappointment that I have in myself and the disappointment that others have in me. I'm going to discipline myself, but also forgive myself. I realize that a lot of my fear comes from my failure to forgive myself.

To the issues and grievances of 2009, I say to you, Rest in Peace...

Here's to a new year...a new you... and a new way to look at your life.

Cuidado

My mind...My thoughts travel fast...They move as if they're late to a terminal and have to board PRONTO! I make decisions because they feel good. I live in the moment. I'm easy to please...I'm slow to anger...just...slow in general.

I realize that I don't think about things until after the fact...

(AHEM...Mister Greene, may we blow up that village with all those innocent families?)

Yeah, sure go ahead...BLOW 'EM UUUUUUUUUUP!!!

8 days later...

Wait, I can't BELIEVE they just decided to blow up that village...
(Sends blower-uppers an angry email...)

By the time my emotions kick in, the email is LATE and my emotions are almost exorbitant.

I wish I was good at being the bigger person. My flesh is like a teething toddler...I need to soothe these gums...these cutting teeth are almost unbearable. But instead of waiting for the pain to subside...I just kick and scream...and sometimes I don't even get the teething ring.

I've played that pitiful game of, "No one understands me..." and believe me, sometimes I don't want people to understand me... It's dark in here.

I wanna know how to love harder. There is one person...I wish, (talking directly to that person) I wish I could love you harder. I wish you'd see past the "Jirod is just being a diva" facade and see that I really try with you. I wish you would see my strengths. I wish you could see my knowledge. Acknowledge my knowledge. Hell, ask me a question. Dig deeper. Maybe you do love me, you just show it differently, huh?

My life can be whatever I want it to be, because my Creator gave me a freedom to chose from gifts that no ordinary man should have, but I'm blessed, so He has given to me to share with others.

I'm all over the place with this one.

To my few subscribers... I love you...everyone I know, and who knows me...I love you. I'm just jotting down my thoughts.


J

Now I Lay Me Down..

Stripped of my clothes, and free from any obligations other than a meeting between my head and my fluffy pillow. My body's movement are slower...as I plunge into a state of rest where I'm as close to death as I've ever been. What keeps these labored breaths from expiring. What keeps this admittedly broken heart beating...What keeps it from seceding from it's sole purpose? My eyelids close over two white and dark brown orbs that view both darkness and light...My dark coal eyelashes fold into each other like a villain would interlock his fingers at the deliciously breaking news that his goons had just successfully completed a high profile heist...(My imagination...)

Well, this is it. Here I go. I have no idea if I'll wake up from this. I've never known. But when I was younger, I don't think I ever really care. I took it for granted because I knew that Mama would always wake me up with her little song...or her loud accusing voice... Mama is four hours away, and I haven't risen to a song in quite some time now.

I've come to understand that there is God who loves me. One who still cradles me in His arms, although I don't exactly know why...

Though I may rise at the appointed hour...Some things have died.

Dead are the worries that plagued my thoughts before I slumbered.
Dead are the missed opportunities to reach out to a brother/sister.
Dead are my regrets of things I said to people...things I've kept from people.


Beautiful One...Give me one more day.

On Nicki Minaj and Modern Music: My HONEST Opinion

To kick it off with a bit of class...(ahem):

"I just had an epiphany, "I need to go to Tiffany's."
Fendi on my slippers, and my [explicative] always slippery."
- Nicki Minaj (Five Star _ _ _ _ _ (Chick))

I will admit, this female phenom...I dig. Sure, in her music, she's vulgar, with a twist of raunch, (what most people would call 'raw'), and she describes her sexual episodes through verse in ways that make "TRINA" look like Taylor Swift. (Love em all, I'm just sayin)

My spiritual beliefs, or rather MY will to follow them, warns me NOT to listen to this type of music, or rather, ALWAYS find the "Edited Version". Now, I'm not going to be a dum dum and say, "It's only the beat I hear..." Because that's ALWAYS been a lie...If you've said that at ANY point in your life...You just might be a liar...and if you say that it's true...You just might be a PATHOLOGICAL liar...'mjussayin...

But, Miss Minaj...It's her enunciation. I could really care less about her slippery-ahem-ness... She's got this fire in her presentation over the microphone that makes me repeat/replay/gobackto her part in "Five Star Chick". When I first heard her, I said to myself, "If Lil' Wayne were a woman...a PRETTY woman, this is what he might sound like..." I'm sure she's her own artist...But, that's just what I hear.

I'm attracted to color and character in a person's voice. Ashamedly, I admit to you this: Even though I do not go out seeking Lil' Wayne's hottest new song...If I'm in the car with someone who's listening to him, I love sitting back and listening. NOT really to the words, (seriously, I ain't lying: see above), but to the way he says things. It's very menacing...very taunting...very "My Mama, your mama lives across the street"...Not girly, but just unapologetic...outrageous, knowingly rude and crude. His tone...that is. Of course the actual lyrics are, but I'm more interested in the color of his voice...The texture. The dynamics...

All of which, Nicki Minaj has conjured into her own signature sound. Try if you might, and maybe you could educate me, but there aren't very many, if any female rappers out right now who even come close to her talent, her raw ability to put stuff together, or her venom. And, boy does she HAVE venom.

She has venom...and haters abound. As do most fresh artists choosing to do something different...To step out of the box...

It's not good to be a new artist in Young America sometimes...because people are going to say, "Ah, he/she just trying to be like [insert comparable artist's name here]. He/she is weird. Why he/dress like/talk like/look like/stand like/ eat, breathe, crap, dance, walk, squat, chew like that?

I've also had a revelation about new music...if that's indeed what it is...While talking to a buddy of mine; Jamal. I thought about new music and how older veterans don't really embrace it because it lacks substance, or it's not real. Then I reminded myself that this is 2009 and, although the talent should NEVER wane, issues and subjects are not the same. This is no excuse for the lack of talent or substance that sometimes falls upon my ears...my arrogant, discriminate ears...but yeah. So this is what I said:

"I play devil's advocate with myself. Some people are going to get it how they live. And talking about what they own, or how material things make them feel is all they know, and they're happy, making "legitimate" income, I can't hate on them. I can only hope that MY craft will be enough to sustain me and that It'll remind my supporters of old times or the "good times", and that they'll see that I'm doing this for THEM... Everything else, is strictly a form of expression, whether I dig it or I don't."

So we say that everyone is entitled to an opinion...However, not everyone has the ability to lay it down in a studio... Think about it. This is creative expression. If you could, if you had the opportunity to go into a studio or even just record your thoughts or your ideas about something that makes you feel good or bad...or just makes you feel; how many people would be diggin your stuff...

Would folks be like, "Girl, you gotta cop Lil' Booty's new album/mixtape."?

In the grand scheme of things...There will never be another Marvin Gaye/Tupac/Queen Latifah/Biggie/Ella/Billie/Otis/Freddy (Mercury)/Elton/Prince/Michael...or even more recent...another Common/Mosdef/Whitney... But why should there ever be?

We are all about CHANGE right? or maybe...atleast when we're happy we are.

Everyone wants to act like they're old and cultured and seasoned (LAWRY'S)...and such...with the rocking chair, and the knitted multicolored quilt in their lap...and say, "Music AIN'T what it used to be..."

Ok...people...Think about this...Soulja Boy Tellem's "She Got a Donk"...the content has been frowned upon...but what about "Doin Da Butt" by Experience Unlimited...To be bougie...(Bourgeois).


Much Love and Respect.

Jirod